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I Look So Good In Other People's Clothes - The Clouds In Heaven Have Hairs On Them

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April 19th, 2011

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11:45 am - I Look So Good In Other People's Clothes
My neighbor of eight years who lived right across the hall from me was recently evicted for not paying his rent. I didn't really talk to the guy that much but I liked him because he was quiet. He's some guy in his fifties, an aging hippy-looking type with big, puffy, matty semi-dreadlocked, greying hair and a pony-tail. He'd talked to me recently about how some sort of government benefits he was getting that helped him with the rent were about to run out or get cancelled and he was concerned that he was going to be out on the street soon. I guess he'd been out of his apartment for a month and I didn't even know it until last week when I saw the property management people in his room carrying out all the shit he left in it when they evicted him.

The guy didn't have a vehicle to help him move and no friends to help him so he was forced to leave behind most of his stuff when he got evicted, much to my landlord's dismay. One of the maintenance guys saw me looking into his open room and told me I could come in and have free reign over whatever of this guys shit I wanted for myself. LOL. So I went and looked around. I took some clothes, some dishes, a few forks and spoons and some vegetable oil. Oh yeah, and a couple packages of microwave popcorn. It's some kind of organic popcorn that smells like someone's ass while it's popping but it actually tastes pretty good!

Well yesterday I went to the community kitchen to eat. I was all decked out in this guys clothes. Hahahaa. I had on his shirt, his pants and even his fucking socks. I wasn't too worried about it because I didn't really expect to see the guy ever again, but lo and behold I'm standing in line to get some grub and this mother fucker comes into the kitchen and stands in line right next to me! I guess it makes sense that now that he no longer has a stove to cook on or a pot to piss in that he'd be coming somewhere for free food.

I'm like, "Hey, dude, how's it goin'?" and I said it tentatively, knowing his life was shit because he more than likely homeless now. "I didn't realize you moved out until I saw the property manager people moving out your stuff the other day," I said.

The guy starts telling me the sad story of how he got kicked out and at some point, in mid-sentence he looks at me and exclaims, "Hey man, is that my shirt?!"

I felt kind of awkward wearing this guys clothes in front of him but I decided to be honest and just keep it positive and said jokingly, "Yeah, man, I look pretty good in it, don't you think?"

"Yeah, man, you do," the guy said, nodding his head. I thought he was going to be cool about it until I turned my back to him and heard him snap, "So are you wearing my fucking UNDERWEAR too, dude?" I could tell he was getting cranky about the whole thing, that he was having a bad day, having gotten kicked out of his apartment, being homeless and having to eat at the free kitchen just to have to stand in line behind some ex-neighbor who was now wearing his clothes; but again, I decided to keep it positive and just replied, "Nah, I ain't wearing any underwear at all, actually, but I did take a few of your dishes and a bottle of vegetable oil, too"

"That's real cool, man, real cool," the guy said, and I could tell he was annoyed but what could he do? HE'S the one who left his shit in the apartment and I wasn't going to start taking his clothes off right there in public and I knew he wasn't going to try and beat my ass so I just got my food and made sure to sit far away from him. And I'm going to continue to wear the guys clothes, too, because I like them, frankly, so if this is going to be a continuous, awkward thing with him seeing me wearing his clothes at the free kitchen, fuck it, I'll deal with it. I'm not breaking the law by wearing his clothes; he can't beat my ass; I was never really "friends" with him to begin with so if it bothers him he's just gonna have to look the other way.

(8 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:April 19th, 2011 11:34 pm (UTC)
You did nothing wrong, but I can also understand the guy getting stressed about it. It's a shitty world. My refund money is coming soon, so maybe I can buy a painting, and keep you out of that kitchen until that guy cools down.
[User Picture]
Date:April 20th, 2011 07:25 pm (UTC)
Dick, thanks for your support and I'm so glad that ever since my Spooky Flowers days you've been right there by my side when I needed you the most.

Yeah, I can see where this guy is coming from and I sympathize. It's just a weird situation for both of us but I think this guy's main problem is that he knows I look better in his clothes than he does, haha. Yeah, dude, buy a painting and save me from having to go to the free kitchen for a couple weeks while this guy cools the fuck off! Over the weekend I watched both versions of "Cape Fear" and I'm worried if this dude ever smells his microwave popcorn on my breath he's gonna go Max Cady on my ass! If he does I at least hope he does the Robert Mitchum version because Robert De Niro's spooky Bible-verse prison tattoos were so cool that I'm afraid I'll let this guy have his way with me and do whatever he wants! I probably will be wearing his underwear before it's all over with and loving every minute of it! Hahahahaa!
[User Picture]
Date:April 20th, 2011 12:23 am (UTC)
Your stories are absolutely incredible. :-)
[User Picture]
Date:April 20th, 2011 07:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Parlet, I appreciate it and glad you enjoy them! Hope you are doing well! :=)
[User Picture]
Date:April 20th, 2011 08:22 pm (UTC)
Wow, you're making the strangest kind of experience.
The story is both a little funny and somewhat sad.
I don't know what is worse: The fact that guy was evicted because his financial aide was cancelled, or the idea that he didn't even have friends who helped him move his stuff out of the place...

I would have felt awkward in your/his shoes, too....but it's not as if you stole the stuff.
Don't know if I'd wear another person's pants unles it was a close friend, though
[User Picture]
Date:April 20th, 2011 11:25 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it was all a little bizarre and strange, but mostly just awkward. I'm not embarrassed at all to be wearing that guy's or anyone else's clothes; I shop for hand-me-downs at thrift stores and occasionally yard sales all the time (always make sure to wash them good before I wear them). It was just the strange circumstance in which he saw me wearing them, him having to somewhat involuntary leave them in his apartment and me taking them somewhat against his will. Yeah, it's a weird circumstance! LOL!

I do feel bad for him having to suddenly move from his apartment and, with him having no car and no friends to help, having to leave a bunch of stuff behind. But I've seen people in that situation many, many times in the past and have been in that circumstance myself so that, while feeling bad for the guy, I sort of just chalk it up to "that's life," as pessimistic as that may sound. As I said in a recent comment I made in your journal, that's one of the reasons I cling to tacos, because they are so colorful and tasty and they give me something positive in this life to hold on to. And even in times when I cannot usually afford tacos, like now, I can at least dream about them :=)
[User Picture]
Date:April 21st, 2011 07:58 am (UTC)
I can see how Tacos are appealing to you ;-)
I like them too, but I never thought of them this way.
I like second-hand shopping, but UNDERWEAR? No way, José. Maybe it's a girl thing ^^

Is there really no welfare organization where you live helping people move out or anything?
There is poverty here in Germany, and we do have people living in the street, but that's nothing like what I've heard about the situation in the States.

In my job at the refugee camp, I see a lot of people from the Balkan states, and things are even worse there. Just talked to a young woman who sits in a wheelchair after her house exploded 8 years ago...she and her family have lived in the streets under a shelter of cardboard boxes ever since.
[User Picture]
Date:April 21st, 2011 12:17 pm (UTC)
Oh I wouldn't ordinarily wear another man's second-hand underwear, either, except in a very special circumstance. LOL. Pants, yes; underwear, no--unless possibly if it was the underwear of a girl that I liked :=)

Yeah, the US has plenty of welfare programs that help assist people with disabilities and low income with housing and stuff. Even so, alot of people still fall through the cracks, don't know how or where to apply for it, or just don't qualify for whatever reason. I don't know of any program that actually will send movers to help you move, though, though it probably exists if you look hard enough or are already part of some assistance program. For whatever reason, my neighbor just couldn't, wouldn't or didn't get any help moving.

I have heard people coming back from Germany saying there is alot of unemployment but that the government is pretty good at keeping people in housing and stuff.

I can imagine how people coming from war-torn countries have it much worse which is why I don't feel so bad for my neighbor. I mean it is sad but I'm thinking maybe he was negligent in some aspect and it is at least partially his own fault. I don't know his whole story so I can't say for sure.

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