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Scary Behind! - The Clouds In Heaven Have Hairs On Them

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May 31st, 2011


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01:20 pm - Scary Behind!

I just returned from lying down on my back with my werewolf mask on in this clearing in the woods behind my apartment complex for about an hour, and happy to be able to stare up at the clear blue sky for a change. I've got leaves and dirt sticking to my shirt and a couple small twigs in my hair but I don't give a fuck. It's the 31st and I don't want to go the whole month of May without a blog entry. The sun hasn't been out much the past couple months. It's been overcast and raining alot. Last week we had a tornado hit a part of my town. It knocked down all the trees in this park that I like to hang out in and now the entire park is roped off so I've resorted to doing my daydreaming and evil scheming in the woods near where I live. I think I'm going to find a chair to put in my secret little clearing and I'm going to go out there and read comic books with my werewolf mask on all summer, dream about tacos, and who knows, maybe someone, perhaps someone's bratty kids, will see me and go around town saying they saw a glimpse of BiGfOOT, lol!

"Mommy! Mommy! We saw Bigfoot out in the woods reading comic books today!" Hahahaha.

I masturbated a few more times last week than I usually do, due to the power going out in my apartment on two different occasions, two separate days due to storms, for about three hours each time. I mean what the fuck else are you going to do when the power goes out? lol

Although I do like staring up at the clear blue sky, the truth is that there is a big hairy man's ASS hanging over my head now that the clouds are gone, and you see the proof in the picture I've posted above. It all started early this morning when I was talking to my landlady. I'm getting very "behind" (hahahaa!) on my rent, far enough that I felt the need to "face the monster," so to speak and talk to my landlady in person about it (though she is actually very nice). I went in her office and said, "Yeah, I know I'm getting a little behind." She responded by saying, "Well, you now owe us $823!", which is over two months rent. I was a little shocked at the amount because I hadn't accounted for late fees and I exclaimed, "Oh man, I'm SCARY BEHIND, aren't I?!"

And as soon as I said "scary behind" I began to giggle inside. I imagine my landlady's snakey (but pretty) blue eyes expanding and darkening and merging together into a man's butthole. I then saw her platinum blonde hair (very nice, actually) expand outward from both sides of her face and morph into these HAIRY FUCKING MAN's BUTTCHEEKS and I found it hard to breathe, thinking about this ginormous fucking amount of money (by my income's standards) I owe this woman and I felt I was suffocating. I quickly asked her for a piece of paper. I went through a bunch of numbers in my head and I wrote out for her a payment plan for the next couple months, got the hell out of her office and briskly walked out into the woods, lied down and thought about how I was going to avoid being evicted. I now must spend the rest of the summer figuring out a way to get this hairy, sweaty stinky man's ass out of my face! GAWD! All I want to do is wear my werewolf mask, sit out in the woods and read comic books all summer and you're telling me I'm going to have to work more than usual because I'm ScARY BeHIND on my rent?

(8 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:merlinwon
Date:June 1st, 2011 04:46 pm (UTC)
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Heaven knows how far HE is behind on his rent.. Thank GOD i'm not on the lease! I'm sure you musta caught up on what's happenin' with me! Nice to see you post again!!

Now about that extra masturbating?? I'dda liked to have been there durin' your extra jack off times.. you with your werewolf mask on and me with my alien mask on and you feelin' alien cock up your wolfy behind! :P

lol!

Luv n Hugs,
<3
XOX
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:June 1st, 2011 06:51 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, Randy, I read through your recent entries and it sounds like you have alot of questions that are up in the air and that you're going through an important time in your life. Hope everything works out for you. I loved your David Duchovny sex dream, lol! That must be where you got the idea for the alien mask. Hahahaha. I'm in love and obsessed with the Grays! I want them to abduct and molest me and sometimes wonder if they already have at some point. It would explain alot. Haha
[User Picture]
From:necrogrrl
Date:June 2nd, 2011 07:12 am (UTC)

tweet

(Link)
i think you might want to consider including quotes from your journal entries to put on twitter, and then maybe linking to them in the same tweet. you have so many gems buried in here!

"All I want to do is wear my werewolf mask, sit out in the woods and read comic books all summer and you're telling me I'm going to have to work more than usual because I'm ScARY BeHIND on my rent?"

maybe that is too many characters.

"Mommy! Mommy! We saw Bigfoot out in the woods reading comic books today!"

really just about every one of your sentences, even out of context (sometimes especially out of context) are great!! :D
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:June 2nd, 2011 11:42 am (UTC)

Re: tweet

(Link)
Yeah, you are right, I'm going to start trying it on Twitter! I actually especially like most of the lines out of context, like this one for example, from the above entry:

Although I do like staring up at the clear blue sky, the truth is that there is a big hairy man's ASS hanging over my head

Hahahahaa! You are such a CoRPSE LUVIN GuRU of GooD IDeaS! :=)


[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:June 2nd, 2011 11:48 am (UTC)

Re: tweet

(Link)
LOL, as a starter I just posted the first line of this entry in Fuckbook and Twatter :=)
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:June 2nd, 2011 11:49 am (UTC)

Re: tweet

(Link)
Wait, not the first line of this entry but the one above. Anyway . . . . .
[User Picture]
From:necrogrrl
Date:June 3rd, 2011 09:43 am (UTC)
(Link)
so like, two things:

do you use anything like google analytics?
http://www.google.com/analytics/
im not sure if it will work in your blog here, or on your website, but if it does you can keep track of your traffic :) i would so be interested to see the effect your crazy tweets/quotes out of context would have on your traffic :)

also, did you see this?
http://farz.in/taco.htm
its like the 5th hit if you google yourself!
teehee :)
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:June 5th, 2011 02:28 pm (UTC)
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I use http://statcounter on all my sites. I've thought about looking into google analytics but statcounter pretty much gives me all I need as far as traffic analysis goes. I've used it for years and am pretty happy with it.

Yeah, the art history paper that guy wrote is awesome! LOL! I actually noticed it and even made a blog entry referencing it about a year and a half ago: http://tacowerewolf.livejournal.com/4017.html

You actually commented on the blog entry but maybe you didn't actually click on the link and were just commenting on the entry in general :=)

I'm definitely going to integrate little snippets of blog entries into my postings for Twitter and Facebook and try to come up more wise sayings. Whether it helps me get more traffic, we'll see. The main thing I need to be posting, though, is ARTWORK which I've been horribly lapse in getting out there lately!


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