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Just Let Me Smell It - The Clouds In Heaven Have Hairs On Them

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April 20th, 2011

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09:20 pm - Just Let Me Smell It
Went to the community kitchen again today and ate. I saw the guy whose clothes I've been wearing. I was wearing his black and white-striped, buttoned-down shirt and pair of blue corduroy pants. I stood behind him as he was dumping his tray and he turned and looked at me, eyed my clothes up and down while I said to him, "Hey dude, what's up?" As I was hoping and kind of half-expected, he just sort of sighed and said, "Not much, man" and walked by me, having evidently resigned to the fact that I was the owner of his clothes now so FUCK HIM!! Hahahahhaa! Yeah, as I figured, this guy's got alot of other shit to worry about so he's just given up on the clothes thing and I'm sort of happy to serve as this walking, breathing well-dressed symbol of his need for self-improvement.

A funny thing happened before that while I was in line to get my food. This guy in front of me was holding this clear plastic drinking bottle. It was about a quarter full of what looked like it might have been beer--it was golden yellowish--but I personally kind of doubt if it was (and I seriously hope it wasn't piss). Bringing alcohol into the kitchen is a big no-no and the kitchen manager came up to the guy and asked him if his bottle contained alcohol. The kitchen manager is this tall, somewhat muscular, good-looking dude with a beard and pony-tail. He always has this black leather biker cap on, has a bunch of scary tattoos. I heard he was a musician and looks like he probably plays in some Molly Hatchet cover band or something. LOL. I give him respect, though, because managing that kitchen is hard, thankless work. I didn't realize how important he is until about a month ago he was on vacation for a week and the food fucking SUCKED while he was gone, it was absolute SLOPPOLA.

Well, anyway, this kitchen manager was confronting the guy in line in front of me about the contents of his bottle, thinking it might be alcohol. As I said, I kind of doubt that it was because everybody knows you can't come into the kitchen drunk, let alone standing in line in full view of everyone with a bottle of fucking beer. LOL, I mean, it would be an absolutely stupid thing to do. But even after the dude said that his bottle contained apple juice, the kitchen manager insisted that it might contain beer and he said to the guy, "Just let me smell it." Hahahahahaha! He actually says to this poor, broke-ass, hungry, cranky fucker in line, "JUST OPEN UP YOUR BOTTLE AND LET ME SMELL IT."

I mean, WTF? I realize the kitchen has to have policies but to act like asking someone to open up their drinking bottle to let you stick your fucking nose inside of it because their word isn't good enough for you just strikes me as invasive and offensive. So it's another one of those situations where I can see both sides. To the guy's credit, he wouldn't let the kitchen manager sniff his bottle; the manager told him he therefore had to leave the premises and the guy then stormed out of the kitchen, shouting, "Fuck you, man! Fuck you! I'm not gonna let you sniff my fucking drink, man! This food sucks, anyway!" It's anyone's guess whether the guy left because he actually did have beer in his bottle or if he just found the whole thing invasive and offensive.

I just found the whole thing funny. The whole time it was going on, and even while I was eating, I kept imagining the kitchen manager saying to the guy, "Is that your butt, man?" while he pointed to his ass.

"Yeah, it's my butt, whose else you think it is?"

"Just let me smell it," the kitchen manager says. "JUST PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND LET ME SMELL IT and if it is indeed your butt I'll let you partake in this wonderful feast I have prepared for you." LOLLOLOLOL! I guess I was musing on the power that the haves have over the have-nots when situations arise where they feel they need to use it while making the needy do the craziest kinds of bullshit things.

(4 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:April 21st, 2011 08:05 am (UTC)
This kitchen seems to be good to write a book about it one day.
I can understand the manager, though. If he doesn't stick to the no-booze rule, then anyone can come in drunk....yay for public battles and flying plates.
[User Picture]
Date:April 21st, 2011 12:25 pm (UTC)
Oh, the community kitchen is full of characters and it is definitely good for a blog entry once in awhile, but I don't know if I'd want to write a whole book about it. It would be too depressing unless I wrote into it that they served TACOS every day! AROOOOOOOOO!

I actually totally understand the kitchen manager's hardline stance on alcohol, too. I guess it was ultimately that guy in line's fault he got harassed, for bringing in such a suspicious-looking container. The whole "Just let me smell it" line made me giggle, though; I guess I'm immature like that. LOL!
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2011 07:20 am (UTC)
so many good lines to tweet in here!

have you ever thought of doing like a book? like collection of your writings illustrated by collection of your art?? i bet it would be rad! i would totally buy it!

does that guy who did the documentary about you know about your blog? man now i am thinking about your old blogs again and so wish they weren't gone! :(
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2011 11:34 am (UTC)
You might be on to something, Necrogirrlie, about taking little snippets out of blog entries and tweeting them, lol. That would also be a good way of recycling my stuff to get as much use out of it as I can. I've linked to whole blog entries on my Twitter but I don't know how many people actually click on the link and come here and read it. You know how people are online, it's hard to get any one's attention and make them focus on YOU for even a few seconds when there is so much other noise out there and millions of other people shouting "ME! ME! ME! LOOK AT ME!!" Hee! Hee! So just exposing them to small snippets might be more effective and at least get me some retweets!

I definitely have plans for doing books, just have a hard time making room for stuff like that in my head right now. I've recently started getting back into reading comic books for the first time in years and I think alot of my ideas would translate well in the comic book format. I think that's why I've started getting back into comic books, looking for inspiration, and they've filled my head with alot of nice ideas.

I don't think the documentary guy is aware of my blog, I've never told him about it and he has never mentioned it. To tell you the truth I never talk to him, haven't heard from him since he informed me of those youtube videos a few months back. He is a mysterious character!

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