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Maybe The Tomatoes Will Save Me - The Clouds In Heaven Have Hairs On Them

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April 17th, 2011


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12:08 pm - Maybe The Tomatoes Will Save Me
So it turns out that Professor Penis isn't dead after all. I saw him driving by me the other day in his cute little blue truck and the fucker didn't even wave. I have to admit that I sort of had this morbid hope that he was dead for some reason, like it would give me an excuse to be all melancholy and wistful for an afternoon or something. I could sit on a park bench downtown with my cup of coffee on a sunny April day, smoking cigarettes as I watch the pretty girls go by and stare at their butts while waxing sentimental about the death of Professor Penis. But not only is the fucker not dead, he has apparently become a stuck-up bastard. It's getting pretty bad when even some old porn store troll like Professor Penis won't even fucking wave at me or acknowledge me. I guess at the tender age of 85 he's finally decided to turn his life around and stop wasting it away prowling the dark, cum-stained hallways of the video arcade waiting for that perfect young college kid's cock to suck, that never comes.

I guess my property management company is trying to start this "community garden" thing where I live. One of the maintenance men was talking to me about it last month, asking me if I'd like to be involved and I was like, "Yeah, whatever" because I honestly thought he was talking out his ass and it would never happen. But lo and behold, the other day I see some dude out in the front yard with a rototiller getting it ready! They've actually carved out a pretty big space for it so now I guess I gotta go somewhere and get some seeds? LOL, I don't know shit about having a garden but I'm like why not? I'm going to try to plant some tomatoes, I think, and maybe some fucking HOT PePPeRS!!

Since I'm chronically late on my rent and always feel like I'm under duress and that any day they could get tired of my late-paying ass and tell me to get lost, I figure getting involved in this garden could help me. That way if I get so late on my rent at some point this summer that they want to evict me I can give them this sad face and say, "But I've got my tomatoes growing out in the garden!" Hahahhaaha.

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:merlinwon
Date:April 17th, 2011 04:27 pm (UTC)
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LOL @ the Garden!! And nice to see your sexy face icon on a post! :)

In hopes all is fairing well with you!!

<3
XoX
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:April 17th, 2011 04:44 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Thanks, Randy, good to hear from you! Yeah the "community garden" thing is funny and I'm curious to see how it goes. I just hope some other tenants get involved and I'm not stuck being the only one doing all the work!

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