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Saints Alive! The Seagulls Aren't Dead Yet! - The Clouds In Heaven Have Hairs On Them

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January 13th, 2011


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08:39 pm - Saints Alive! The Seagulls Aren't Dead Yet!
seahawks seagull

Well, since I jinxed the Colts last week with my face-painting and blue corn ritual (they lost to the Jets! waaahhhhh!) I thought I'd try to redeem myself by doing another "fan photo-op" this week, but as a (admittedly bandwagon!) fan of the SEATTLE SEAHAWKS!!

The Sea Gulls--as I like to call them because I like to chuckle when I think of their kicker making a field GULL, LOL!--became the first NFL team to get into the playoffs with a losing record this year (not counting the strike year of 1982) with only seven wins and nine losses, and this past Saturday they actually BEAT the defending Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints to also become the first team with a losing record to ever win a playoff game! And they still have a losing record at 8-9! Hahahaha! My, my, what GULL these guys possess and what an unruly group of UNDER BIRDS they must surely be when they head off to their next game in Chicago against the Bears this Sunday! The prospect of them going to the Super Bowl is just too hilarious and bizarre to ponder, and since I want to have a "dog in the hunt," so to speak, to go along with the BIRDS IN my BeLFRY for the remainder of the play-offs, I've taken to suddenly becoming a SEAGULL FAN FOREVAAAH! (or perhaps just for the next one to four weeks, or more than likely until they get beat by the Bears this Sunday because I've surely jinxed them now!)
seahawks seagull

Strangely enough, last Friday night, the day before the Seagulls/Saints game, I was at home watching Steven Segal:Lawman on my computer (and I'm not afraid to admit that's what I was doing on a Friday night, I'm a grown man and can do what I want! hahaha!) and a premoniton came to me. I'd actually never seen this show before and it took me awhile to realize that Steven Segal is a deputy sheriff in Jefferson parish of Greater New Orleans, that's where the show takes place, and it was only when he was arresting a group of thugs who had a NEW ORLEANS SAINTS sticker on their windshield that it dawned on me that Steven's last name of Segal sounds a helluva lot like SEAGULL! LOL! And the fact that I was watching him--one day before the Seagulls/Saints game--arresting these New Orleans Saints fans, these thugs who were anything but "Saints," of course, portended to me quite clearly that the SEATTLE SEAGULLS WERE GOING TO KICK THE NEW ORLEAN SAINTS ASSES Saturday, and they did! Who the hell needs Tarot cards and horoscopes when you have Steven Segal:Lawman predicting the future for you, right?
seahawks seagull

It's funny because I was at work at the porn store just today. A chronic, degenerate masturbator (otherwise known as a "regular" where I work) and I were discussing football and how we both want the Seagulls to win it all now that the Colts' season is over, when another customer came in wanting to buy tokens so he could go back in the video arcade to search for a dick to suck. This customer had one of those respirator thingies attached to his nose, which isn't a big deal, but I noticed he also had a backpack and it is store policy to have customers leave their backpacks behind the counter before they go in the back to masturbate, suck cock, or whatever. So I said to him as he headed towards the arcade, "Sir, you need to leave your backpack behind the counter." The guy then showed me how the tube attached to his nose was actually going into his backpack and that inside his backpack was where he kept his oxygen tank. Of course, I wasn't about to tell him, "Too bad, you have to leave your oxygen tank behind the counter, too!" or anything (lol!), but I did jokingly say to him, "Alright, you can take your backpack back in the arcade as long as you're a SEA GULLS fan. The customer then smiled and his eyes grew wide as he said, "Well I don't know much about football but I am a fan of SEMEN and SEAcock sucking. I guess you could call me a "SEMEN GULL." Hahahahaa! He then laughed and I laughed, too, and said, "Good enough, then!" Hee! Hee!

And speaking of SEA MEN, thinking of all these birds that float about the water compelled me to get out my old Navy uniform and take a picture of myself in it. I hadn't worn it since I was last in the Navy back in 1992. To tell you the truth I didn't even know I still had it until I was cleaning out my closet the other day. Unfortunately, the pants didn't fit me so I had to do this photo-op in my underwear and I hope you don't mind. I personally find it appropriate. If the Seagulls are the UNDER BIRDS it only makes sense that I root for them in my UNDER WEAR, right? I hope you would all agree! Hahahahahaa!
seahawks seagull

(10 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:parlet
Date:January 14th, 2011 03:25 am (UTC)
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I meant to tell you how original your "Pittsburgh Squealers" remarks were going to be...because NOBODY has ever said that before! :-)

But! Now if you are a bandwagon Seacocks fan (God help you) you can still say all that should we have a rematch of SB XL!
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:January 14th, 2011 12:56 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, it took me a couple days to get over the Colts loss. It wasn't so bad this year because I wasn't really expecting much but I did expect them to get past the Jets! But now that I've jumped on the Seahawks bandwagon I can get excited again! They actually beat the Bears back in week 6 so there's room for optimism. I'm rooting for a Packers win, too, so that the NFCCG will be held in Seattle. LOL! How funny would that be?

I can't take credit for "Squealers," just as a can't take credit for "Field GULL". I've seen them both used on various NFL forums, but "Squealers" sure is funny! It makes me think of the Ned Beatty "Squeal like a pig" scene in the movie, Deliverance. I can't believe I didn't think of SeaCOCKS when I wrote this entry. I'm sure I could have fit in somewhere. Hahahaa!

Enjoy the games this weekend, Parlet. I'll be listening for that squealing noise coming from Big Ben as soon as Ray Lewis gets a hold of him!
[User Picture]
From:parlet
Date:January 14th, 2011 01:34 pm (UTC)
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Ha ha, Squealers is one of the oldest ones around. Makes me *yawn* every year when I hear it! :-)

I'm sure you could have fit it in somewhere too! I never cared one way or the other about them until Super Bowl XL, but since then I've always kinda hoped they would lose. Granted, I did want them to make the playoffs with a losing record because I thought that would be funny, but now that they've done that, they can go away now. Go Bears!

Hmm, maybe one of these days we'll actually agree on a team! LOL :-)
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:January 14th, 2011 08:55 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, you probably think of "Squealers" the same way I think of the "Viqueens" for the Vikings or the "Dolts" for the Colts. I admittedly didn't immediately catch your sarcasm, though! I don't know any Steelers fans personally so I'm not used to razzing them and don't know what they're used to hearing. Hee! "Squealers" does seem like a pretty obvious one, though, so when you said it was "original" I kind of wondered because I've seen it on NFL forums I read numerous times. I was just like, well maybe he really hasn't heard it, and ran with that! Hey, at least give me credit for acknowledging I didn't come up with it myself because I'm sure that would have been doubly annoying. LOL!

I'm really just rooting for the Seacocks (I did make that one up myself! lol!) to beat the Bears, and it would be especially nice if the Packers lose (I realize you are also a Packers fan, sorry about that!), too, cuz it would be funny for Seattle to host the NFCCG. I'm not sure I want them to go beyond that, though, cuz I want the Super Bowl to be a good game, not a blow-out, and I'm not sure the Seacocks can hang with whatever team comes out of the AFC.

Ravens/Steelers should be a bruise fest! I just saw that Polamalu is probable for the game so that's good news for you.
[User Picture]
From:parlet
Date:January 14th, 2011 09:28 pm (UTC)
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LOLOLOLOLOLOL I LOVE THE VIQUEENS!!!!!!! I've never heard that one before, that is perfect!

I never thought that you had never razzed a Steeler fan before! "Squealers" is definitely the common one...I don't really know what else there could be?

Wow, the Seacocks, that was really smart of you to come up with that. ;-)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE PACKERS HAVE TO WIN!!!!!!!!! Either they or the Steelers NEED to be in the Super Bowl! Your new boyfriends the Seacocks are only allowed to make it if the Steelers do too. You're right, it would be blow-out city with any of the AFC teams.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY TROY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is an absolute *MUST* that he play against the rat-birds!!!!!!!!

Can't wait for tomorrow! My Terrible Towels are ready!!!!!!!
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:January 14th, 2011 10:12 pm (UTC)
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Ha, I actually made a flub in my previous comment. I want the Packers to WIN against Atlanta so if the Seacocks win also, the NFCCG will be held in Seattle because Seattle is a higher seed than GB. I'm so used to rooting against the Packers because they're in the Vikings' division that I got confused for a moment, lol. I had it right in my initial comment to you higher up in the thread, though.

Yeah, you've got a potential dream scenario where two of your favorite teams have at least a semi-decent chance of playing each other in the SB. I came very close to this happening for me last year with the Colts and Vikings until the Vikings decided to fumble it all away!

I decided I like the term "seacock" so much and am so proud that I came up with it myself that I edited my entry above to include it! I inserted it toward the end of the second to last paragraph. hahahahaa!
[User Picture]
From:parlet
Date:January 17th, 2011 03:25 am (UTC)
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So...I'm figuring that you are the newest Bears fan in town. Here's my logic:

1. The *SEACOCKS lost. So they'll be back at Starbucks listening to 90's grunge music, as their 8-10 asses should be.

2. You can't like the *PACKERS since they are the enemy of the VI-QUEENS (get it? get it? I came up with that one myself!)

3. The *JETS* beat your precious PATRIOTS and their girl-looking quarterback.

4. I know you won't cheer for the *STEELERS!!!!!!!! just to drive me crazy.

So how close am I?
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:January 17th, 2011 09:50 pm (UTC)
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Well, for someone who is a fan of old game shows you should be familiar with the term, "WRONG ANSWER!! LOL. You're close, though. If I had to pick a team other than the JETS, I guess it would be the Bears. I really don't like the Bears and only like them a little bit better than Green Bay, since they are also in the same division as the Vikings. I like the Bears a little more simply because they've been a little less successful against the Vikings in the past twenty years or so. I really grew to LOATHE the Packers in 95-97 or so when they were going to Super Bowls.

Yeah, fuck the SEACOCKS!! It was like, "SEA COCK . . . . SEE COCK GET THEIR ASSES KICKED!" LOL, what an awful game yesterday!

I've realized in the last month or so that I don't really like the Patriots like I used to. I liked them because I won money on them in the early oughties, then in '07-'09 I liked them because Randy Moss is my favorite player, going back to his early Viking days. I do respect them as an organization but I found myself rooting for the Jets yesterday once I realized they had a chance to win.

Sorry, but I have just NEVER liked the Squealers. I do respect their long tradition of good defense, guys like Polamalu and James Harrison. I like Hines Ward but I guess I just don't feel they need to pile on and win a SEVENTH GODDAM SUPERBOWL!! They already have one more than any other team with six! It is kind of funny how every few years they seem to just sneak up on every body and win it all, though!

I like Rex Ryan. His brashness is entertaining and refreshing when compared to guys like Belichick, Tony Dungy and Jim Caldwell, and his team seems to buy into it and reflect his attitude. I always like when people/teams talk trash then back it up. The Jets earned alot of respect from me by beating the Pats and it should be a good game Sunday night!
[User Picture]
From:necrogrrl
Date:January 17th, 2011 07:27 am (UTC)
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hay!

i wanna see you in full uniform! there are few things hotter than a werewolf in uniform!
[User Picture]
From:tacowerewolf
Date:January 17th, 2011 09:58 pm (UTC)
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LOL! I honestly did try to put on the pants but they wouldn't go around my waist! The top, itself, was skin tight and I about never got it off of me! I thought I was going to have to call 911 to get it off of me, or at the very least track down one of my neighbors to help! Hee! I like a werewolf in uniform too, though, I just need to find a uniform that wasn't fitted for me nearly twenty years ago! I need to try out for the local college football team and get a uniform that way because there's no way I'll ever join the military again!!!

I've actually got an old picture or two of me wearing my full Navy uniform back when it FIT. If I ever get a scanner maybe I'll post them :=)

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